Something Unsettling

Remember life in the seminary at the start of the calendar year?

It was a period when the cool breeze gradually gave way to sultry air and we became excited of summer.

There was the excitement for vacation, without the structure of seminary life. We could be with our family again. We could meet old friends back home and new friends in the apostolate area. And boy, did we enjoy those times, during summer. We lived like real, ordinary teenagers. We even serenaded the beautiful girls in town, especially when the moon was full.
But for those who were graduating, a sense of anxiety hung in the air. Questions remain unanswered as we procrastinated with our decision: Where will I go after this? Am I really called to the priesthood? Should I proceed? Should I just take a year off? Should I take another course? Should I marry that wonderful girl I met the other summer? What will happen to me years from now? Where will I be?

These questions hung like tiny Damocles swords waiting to drop and change our lives. We knew we had to move on. With less guidance on the discernment of spirits, some of us procrastinated, waiting for events to decide for us: Kun madawat, modayon gud! Kun dili madawat, ah dili pud.

So for us then, the start of the calendar year also ironically ushered in an unsettling anxiety of the approaching close of the school year. It sought our attention even if we brushed it aside. Remember that feeling as you read through the articles in this issue. (msa)